Parenthood: Right or Privilege?

omg, i couldn't agree more with @GinCam73 110% true.
everyone has the right to become a parent, father or mother but some people can't take care of themselves.

In some cases i've witness in my job was a mother and father who was so caught up in drugs, and having two very young children and they wouldn't seek the help, i believe they shouldn't have the right to become parents, kids should be removed from that type of environment as it can affect them mentally growing up.
 
Parenthood is not a right but a privilege. As you say, anyone can be a parent but it doesn't mean they should be. It should always be a privilege that can be taken away from them. So many people nowadays have a child and never look after them properly.
 
Shortie said:
So many people nowadays have a child and never look after them properly.
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I think everyone has different approaches to looking after their child, there's no right or wrong answer. No "one size fits all" approach as every child is different, every parent has a different personality.

Please clarify what you mean by this? Do you feel that too many kids have technical gadgets from a younger age and things like that? I respect your point of view of course, as a young person I'd naturally disagree as I was brought up in the technological era :D
 
Being a parent isn't something you just rush into. It's not even all about having money to take care of your kids and all the responsibilities that comes with it, although it's very important to have that option ticked but if you're not physically, mentally and emotionally ready to be a parent, it's better not to start a family just yet.
 
Its both.

Every person has the right to create a child and love / nurture / discipline / teach / guide / provide for / etc etc etc / the child.

However when a person fails to do that and puts the child's well being in danger, then being a parent becomes a privilege which can be taken away. Then the parent will need to prove themselves to be fit parents and earn that privilege back.
 
Nomad said:
I wouldn't go into a debate about whether parenthood is a right or a privilege, I would rather say parenthood is a responsibility. If you are not ready to bear the responsibility, it is better that you dop not become a parent.
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☝️🙂👍💯 I certainly do agree.
 
Shortie said:
Parenthood is not a right but a privilege. As you say, anyone can be a parent but it doesn't mean they should be. It should always be a privilege that can be taken away from them. So many people nowadays have a child and never look after them properly.
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However the issue with this is then - Who gets to decide who is or isn't granted this "privilege"? The perfidious political class? The perfidious political class's selected "experts"?

Would not such an imposed "privilege" scenario also require robbing all individuals of their intrinsic bodily autonomy?

Women in most "western" nations legally have the sole 'priviledge' to choose whether or not to discard an unborn child—entirely without any consideration legally afforded to the unborn child's father—least of all the unborn child themselves. Regardless of arguments for or against this particular legal 'Priviledge', the point I am getting at is that this 'Priviledge' is premised upon the womans freedom to choose what they believe is right for their own body.
Now: "It should always be a privilege that can be taken away from them." -to impose this would also mean stripping women of their 'Priviledge" to choose "abortion" too, would it not?
 
Parenthood is a privilege in my perspective since, as we all know, there are some parents who don't provide their kids the best care. Parenthood should be a privilege. I know I can't criticize anyone, but there are parents who mistreat their children and aren't even able to give them what they want.
 
kirubel said:
Parenthood is a privilege in my perspective since, as we all know, there are some parents who don't provide their kids the best care. Parenthood should be a privilege. I know I can't criticize anyone, but there are parents who mistreat their children and aren't even able to give them what they want.
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Yeah you're definitely right that there are irresponsible "parents".

In New Zealand we suffer under a "Social Democracy", which is essentially just a very subtle stealth form of covert Socialism.

For several decades the successive corporate governments have steadily erroded away the foundations of New Zealand society via disingenuous policies and particularly regarding "Social Welfare" financial incentives.

I experienced the direct effects of these stealth social dependency policies which generally lean heavily towards enabling unemployed solo mothers to very easily receive regular cash incentives—the amounts of which are guaged on a per/child basis.

Eg: 🤱more children🤱=💲more cash💲

Of course in many cases there are reasonably responsible individuals who actually effort to fulfill parental duties as best they are able, but then there are many who essentially live off of the 'Social Welfare" system spittin' out children whom may often be largely neglected and develop into dysfunctional adult children, eg: criminals, misfits, etc, even "Social Welfare" dependents, as their children likely will too. A self perpetuating intergenerational state dependency system.

Here's some examples shots showing several of the most recent NZ© Govts "Ministry of Social Development's" -Work and Income department's "Child Support" "Benefit" rates:

Screenshot_2024-01-14-20-02-32-36_40deb401b9ffe8e1df2f1cc5ba480b12.jpg
Screenshot_2024-01-14-20-03-37-93_40deb401b9ffe8e1df2f1cc5ba480b12.jpgScreenshot_2024-01-14-20-03-46-59_40deb401b9ffe8e1df2f1cc5ba480b12.jpgScreenshot_2024-01-14-20-04-54-18_40deb401b9ffe8e1df2f1cc5ba480b12.jpgScreenshot_2024-01-14-20-05-05-05_40deb401b9ffe8e1df2f1cc5ba480b12.jpgScreenshot_2024-01-14-20-05-39-75_40deb401b9ffe8e1df2f1cc5ba480b12.jpg
These & others all add up to an extremely attractive prize for dysfunctional solo parents, eg: alcoholics, druggies, junkie *****s, NZs feral gang families, immigrants, etc.

"Parenthood is a privilege in my perspective since, as we all know, there are some parents who don't provide their kids the best care. Parenthood should be a privilege. I know I can't criticize anyone, but there are parents who mistreat their children and aren't even able to give them what they want."

Basically what I'm saying with regards to the quoted post, is that it appears some corporate governments, eg: New Zealand's successive governments, have & are actually efforting against the desired results we-as in pretty much everyone else-would prefer.

We all seem to share similar ideal goals with respect to familial foundations, and regardless of differences on how we go about achieving this, unfortunately some governments are making deceptive policies designed to create exactly the opposite situation.

Benefit rates at 1 April 2021 - Work and Income

Benefit and payment rates from 1 April 2021
www.workandincome.govt.nz www.workandincome.govt.nz
 
For some regions and populations choosing between having children or not is not your personal choice. For them, every couple needs to have children early means 1 year or 2 years after marriage. Also, they repeat these questions when you have your first baby in a manner that lets you sometimes spend a lot of money on medical care if you have some health problem that prevents having children naturally.
 
kirubel said:
See this is the problem, if any person who thinks their child is source of money, then they don't deserve to have a child. Most developed country have this support for parents, and some peoples use this for bad things.
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Yep, that's exactly the case!
 
kirubel said:
See this is the problem, if any person who thinks their child is source of money, then they don't deserve to have a child. Most developed country have this support for parents, and some peoples use this for bad things.
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It depends means if your child participate in a competition and win a prize and give their parents some money to help themselves after they pay cost of participate like arts or gym competition or second case is to exploit them badly is another thing and there what you say is true
 
saoussen5765 said:
It depends means if your child participate in a competition and win a prize and give their parents some money to help themselves after they pay cost of participate like arts or gym competition or second case is to exploit them badly is another thing and there what you say is true
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It is very depressing to see that. Kids should be free to focus only on their education and homework. They should not have to worry about providing for their parents financially. After all, those parents should be the ones raising their kids, right?
 
kirubel said:
It is very depressing to see that. Kids should be free to focus only on their education and homework. They should not have to worry about providing for their parents financially. After all, those parents should be the ones raising their kids, right?
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You're totally right. I couldn't agree more.
My so-called "mother" was a welfare dependent-(imho)-parasite.


😂She is an extremely entitled narcissistic, druggie, alcoholic, like...jfc, I can't begin to describe how soul crushing life was under her "care".


She became a solo mother when I was around 9yo, and my 3 younger brothers were roughly 2, 6 & 8.


I'm 75% certain my youngest brother does not have the same father because he looks significantly different to me & the other two bros.


Our "father" must've noticed coz he abandoned ship pretty quick.


He's no better than her though.


He's never bothered maintaining contact or any kind of involvement, didn't even pay child support.


Anyways, so once they split, that left myself and the younger bros stranded with....😒 "mum".


The subsequent depressing 3-4 years were pretty challenging....to say the least.


During this period she had shacked up with this violent asshole with two widowed sons.


"Mum" used to deliberately provoke this guy almost daily—resulting with her gettin' severe beatings and the house variably trashed.


She was gettin' "Social Welfare" × 4 by that stage and still we barely had food for school lunches, never got new uniforms or nothin'.


This **** was in fact covered by WINZ, yet she blew most of it on herself I guess.


We got just enough to make it appear to the outside that things were all good.


About a year into her violent relationship with this dude, late one night he must've gotten fed up with her nonsense and with his two kids in tow abruptly took off across the country back to where they had previously lived.


(I was asleep when this happened and have had to piece together the series of events in hindsight.)


All I consciously recall is being frantically woken along with my brothers as shes screaming, physically dragging us out of our beds, hostile af ordering us to "GET IN F##KING CAR NOW!".


We did.


Next thing we're hoofin' down the long gravel driveway out on to the pitch black country roads of far north NZ.


"Mum" definitely would have been drinking too.


I think the bros and I all fell asleep pretty quick.


No clue what time it was or how long we'd been driving for when I was suddenly jolted awake by the shaking & loud bangs.


Turns out the bangs were rocks kicked up because she's driving half way off the side of the road at high speed.


This was just so unusual, I remember thinking.


Coz I simply didn't know what was going on at all.


Only responses she'd give were hysterical screaming in response to my pleading questions...so I shut my mouth and just watched in confused shock....


...as a wall off headlights came into view ahead of us.


I still struggle accepting what happened next.


We were still speeding along halfway off the roadside as the wall of lights-(*from a big rig tractor trailer unit)-got closer.


At the last second she swerved the car back on the road—hooked sharply to the right, so the passenger side of the car was now sliding directly in the path of the wall of lights.


I recall being frozen by the terror.


Wide eyed, gazing out the left passenger window past my youngest brother in his booster seat...


... couldn't do anything c'ept watch the towering wall of blinding lights barrel closer...


...I literally mean I can clearly recall this moment right up to the impact—💥
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.
.

.


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~Blackness~
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.


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😅 Yeah, "mum" tried to kill me and my brothers that night apparently.


I'm the only one who knows the truth.


She played "victim" to the authorities.


Me, and the bros were seriously injured.


She got minor whiplash.


And she was made out by the local press as a "heroic solo mother! Blah blah blah..."


I regained consciousness in hospital completely paralyzed from the waist down and like the bros, we were all peppered with vicious hunks of glass, I mean big chunks that looked like we'd been point-blank shotgun blasted to the faces sorta thing.


The youngest bro, gott damn!....he took the full initial impact....barely survived.


He's early/mid twenties now.


His face is covered in gnarly gaping scars way worse than the rest of us.


😒👉This witch: "Mum", milked the bulksh_t "solo hero mother" narrative and was showered with praise, support, sympathy, heaps of people turned up donating toys, candy and other kids stuff, but also cash, a new car, and more for the "hero".


Oh, and WINZ cashed her up too.


So while we were stuck in hospital for the next several weeks....


..."mum" f##ked off on a holiday with the violent guy.


Ditched us with hospital staff.


She's continued milking the system ever since.


4-5 years later, age ~15, I began couch surfing.


I just couldn't be around her any longer.


She is extremely cruel.


She seems to particularly despise me the most..... and I think it's probably coz she suspects I remember what she did.(¿?)


Regardless, so the whole couch surfing thing at age 15 didn't go as well as I imagined....😄 Zero cash and no way to get any....other than groveling to Work and Income NZ for financial assistance.


So eventually sh_t became desperate enough and I sheepishly went into the WINZ offices.


To my relief, it turned out WINZ could help 15yo me out with cash, temporary accomodations and whatnot.


😂 Damn I was so happy.


....😰until the WINZ Case Manager sez -"You'll need to get your mother to sign this yadda yadda yadda..."


Basically I needed to get "mum" to voluntarily sign over -to me, whatever amount of cash WINZ was giving her for my support.


Did she sign it?


😂Nup! She started swingin'!


Ultimately chased outta the house and told to starve on the street.


Aaaaand....WINZ wasn't able to help me neither.


😅So that was me starving for the following weeks....until hustling a full time job fixing up houses with this tripppy as oldskool stoner dude.


5 years later I had people working for me....🙂
 
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